By Shanti O’Connor, MS, NCC | Holistic Therapist at Hawthorn Healing Arts Center
Summer invites us into the outward rhythm of life. There’s more light, more activity, and more opportunities to connect with others—through barbecues, camping trips, concerts, and celebrations that often stretch into the night. In the midst of this joyful season, there’s also a quieter reality: many of these moments revolve around alcohol, cannabis, or other substances.
And while these tools can sometimes enhance an experience, they can also pull us away from ourselves. Whether it’s subtle—like saying yes to a drink when you meant to say no—or more profound, like using substances to manage anxiety, numb grief, or fit in socially, the summer season can surface questions about how we care for our emotional and mental health in group settings.
As a holistic therapist at Hawthorn Healing Arts, I often work with people who are navigating the space between wanting to feel included and wanting to stay true to themselves. Substance use becomes a tender point of reflection—not about judgment or perfection, but about presence, intention, and self-awareness. If you’re looking to stay grounded while still enjoying everything summer has to offer, here are some thoughts to guide your way.
For a Mindful Summer – Start with Intention
There’s often a moment of choice we overlook. The drink in your hand, the edible passed to you around the fire—before you say yes, take a breath. Ask yourself, Why am I choosing this? Are you hoping to relax, join in, feel more at ease? Or are you trying to bypass discomfort, soothe anxiety, or avoid being seen?
There’s no “wrong” reason—but becoming aware of your motivation allows you to make a conscious choice. That small moment of reflection helps you stay in alignment with your deeper needs and values.
Know Your Boundaries—and Honor Them
Everyone’s comfort level with substances is different. Some people are sober, others moderate, and many are figuring it out one event at a time. The key is knowing what supports your well-being—your nervous system, your relationships, your emotional state—and being willing to honor that, even when people around you are making different choices.
Setting your limits ahead of time can be helpful, especially when heading into a party or social scene. If it feels supportive, tell a trusted friend what you’re choosing for the evening. It can feel empowering to have someone else in your corner when you need a reminder that your “no” is enough, and no explanation is required.
Stay in Conversation with Your Body
The effects of substances don’t happen in a vacuum—they interact with your physical and emotional state in real time. And in the summer months, we often forget how much heat, overstimulation, poor sleep, or dehydration can intensify those effects.
That’s why checking in with your body is such a powerful practice. Notice how you’re feeling before, during, and after you use something. Are you grounded and present? Are you buzzing or scattered? Does your body feel tired, open, or resistant? These signals are messages—and they’re worth listening to.
Joy Doesn’t Have to Be Intoxicated
It’s easy to equate celebration with altered states, but some of the most potent joy comes from natural presence. Sober dancing under the stars, deep belly laughs around a fire, spontaneous swimming at dusk, or slow mornings with a journal in hand—these are the moments we remember, because we were fully there.
The more we create experiences that nourish us without needing substances, the less we feel pulled to escape. This isn’t about deprivation—it’s about remembering what joy feels like in its purest form.
You Don’t Have to “Feel Fine” All the Time
Sometimes substance use isn’t about fun at all—it’s about softening something heavy. Maybe it’s social anxiety, unresolved grief, loneliness, or feeling like you don’t quite fit in. These are real, human experiences that often get masked by smiles and party lights.
The truth is, you’re allowed to feel what you feel—even when everyone else seems carefree. If you find yourself reaching for something just to get through, pause and ask yourself gently: What do I actually need right now?
Often, it’s not another drink—it’s connection, compassion, or simply space to be witnessed. Therapy, somatic work, or a conversation with someone who sees you can provide the grounding you’re really seeking.
Give Yourself Credit for Choosing Consciously
Having a healthy relationship with substances isn’t about doing everything “right.” It’s about making choices with care. It’s about practicing self-respect in real time, listening to your needs, and honoring your boundaries—even when it’s hard.
The freedom you’re looking for doesn’t live in the escape. It lives in your ability to show up for yourself, just as you are.
If You’re Exploring These Questions, You’re Not Alone
Whether you’re curious about sobriety, trying to moderate, or simply noticing patterns that no longer feel aligned, you’re already doing the work. And you don’t have to do it alone. At Hawthorn Healing Arts, I offer holistic therapy that blends traditional counseling with body-based and energy practices to support you in reconnecting to your inner truth. My work is trauma-informed, compassion-led, and rooted in helping you create a life that feels spacious, grounded, and real.
This summer, let healthy connection start with you.
Having a healthy relationship with substances isn’t about perfection. It’s about consciousness, care, and choice. It’s knowing that you have the power to say yes or no based on what truly supports your wholeness. This summer, choose experiences that make you feel alive—not just intoxicated. Surround yourself with people who honor your boundaries. And most importantly, trust your inner wisdom. It knows the way.
Interested in working together?
Shanti O’Connor, MS, NCC, is a holistic therapist offering one-on-one counseling, women’s groups, energy healing, and retreats in Bend, Oregon. With training in trauma, somatic healing, and mindfulness, her practice is designed to support clients through anxiety, life transitions, grief, self-esteem challenges, and more. To schedule an appointment with Shanti call 541-330-0334 or feel free to use our online appointment request form.